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Saturday , 19 January 2019
Breaking News

Facebook Broke. Here Are Five Status Updates We Didn’t Miss Not Seeing

fb_650_5Facebook collapsed briefly today, creating a digital black hole in the lives of those who can’t go 10 minutes without keeping the world updated about what they are doing, thinking or eating. To them, the short span that the social network was offline must have seemed an endless wrinkle in time, leaving them bereft and disconnected. 

We don’t know what they did while Facebook was gone (Catnap? Call everyone on their contact list? Throw a tantrum? Look around and realize, hey this is the real world? Become catatonic?) , but we do know that we didn’t miss seeing these status updates that would normally have flooded our timelines: 

-We didn’t miss not seeing where you went on holiday. Or are going. Or want to go to. Because we were stuck in office and really didn’t care. 

-We didn’t miss not knowing what you ate for breakfast. Eggs and toast? Oh. Yay. 

-We didn’t miss not looking at the picture of the Starbucks cappuccino you were drinking right then. Because we know it was just like the cappuccinos you drink – and post pictures of – at the same time everyday. 

-We didn’t miss not knowing the result of the quiz/zes you took last. We don’t care which city you should really live in or which character from Game of Thrones you are. 

-We didn’t miss not seeing the latest in your series of selfies. We don’t care if we never see a selfie of you or anyone else again. Ever. 

And, most of all, we didn’t miss not getting Candy Crush alerts. 

Did the Facebook outage leave a gaping hole in your life or did you rejoice at the freedom, however brief, from information overload? Tell us in the comments box below.

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