With the ongoing Valentine’s week, we can feel love all around us. People are doing every bit to make their loved ones feel special. At the same time, it is important to make yourself feel good. If you are looking for love in a healthy relationship, there are times when you have to deal with the underlying issues from the past — like a fear of rejection or engulfment or maybe not able to move on from the previous relationships which further leads to uncertainty in your future relationships.
Nothing is constant, not even relationships, some relationships come and stays forever and some leaves. When these relationships leave it has a strong impact on our mind, body and emotions. Sometimes, these impact paves the way to certain diseases like cancer. So, this Valentine’s ask yourself, are you over your past or still it’s bothering you. If yes, below is your TO- DO- List this Valentine’s day :
- Closure of past relationships – The need for closure doesn’t just apply to relationships but sometimes to the death of a loved one or a way of life can be a painful ending. Letting go of something that was once dear to you can be tough, and many people seek closure in doing so. When we seek closure we are actually looking for answers to the loss which will help in healing the pain it has created. The closure is achieved when we are satisfied with the answers and are able to move on.
- Communicate–Communication is an important part of the healing process. It is very important to talk out the feelings and emotions within before they start to take control of our mind. During this time the emotions can overwhelm your clarity and can lead you to break down in tears and create an anxiety attack. But, when you learn how to communicate those feelings, it causes a chain reaction and allows you to ease up the tension building within. Ensure you communicate peacefully and not argue. Arguing will only add up to your stress level.
- Take a break and meet new people– Taking a break or going on a vacation will make you feel less anxious, more rested and in a better mood. Taking a break from your routine has numerous health benefits for both your mind and body. Meeting new people and knowing them helps you to distant yourself from the past. It promotes happiness and takes your mind off stressful situations.
- Don’t lock yourself – Never lock yourself in a room. This way you will never heal and will never make a room for a new relationship. By locking yourself in a room and suffering silently, you are punishing yourself. You need to continue taking care of your mind, body and emotion. Focus on things you love to pursue and spend some quality time with your loved ones.
- Connect with nature–There is a sense of enchantment in the beauty of nature. Immersing oneself can offer short term as well as long term benefits for your mental and physical well-being. Being in a natural set up reduces your stress level and boost the immune system. It further helps in recovering from illness and that is why you will see hospitals and other medical institutes having a garden in their premises. A small exposure to nature can increase your energy level and make you feel fresh and alive.
- Analyze past situations and understand the mistakes – To get over the past relationship(s), you need to analyze what went wrong in those relations, whose fault it was, how things could have been different. In case, the fault was from your end, then you need to accept it full-heartedly and work on your short-comings so that such a mistake is not repeated in you’re the future relationship. If the mistake is from the opposite side, then try to communicate and put a peaceful closure to it.
- Take therapy – With all the above-mentioned measures, you can consult a therapist or an expert who will help you in overcoming the past relationships. Therapies like sound therapy and meditation help to ooze out the negative energy within, making you feel alive.
BY: Dr Anju Sharma, Psychiatrist, Sound & Energy Master, Wellness-Holistic Coach and Founder of the Musical Healing Band named “Sound of Infinity”.