“No,no,leave her,no,you cannot,you should not,she is your wife,no,no…”,screamed the nineteen year old teen,Lark.She just woke up from her late night sleep and gave a shriek once again ,”No..”.It suddenly dawned upon her that it was a dream and that this sudden pain marked her move from the terrible dream into the reality of life.
Drops of tears rolled down her cheeks. Her soft heart thumped.Her body shivered. “The same dream again”,said she and began to cry her heart out.She covered her face with her palms and the ultimate silence of the hostel room ,as usual ,was broken by the sound of weeping.
Night dreams help us relax.They make us enjoy the free trip to a journey where a person is free from the bonds of reality.’FRAME AND PLACE’ ,being the basic principle on which this entire ‘dream show’ works.Frame your life yourself and finally place it to any position or stage where you want to see yourself as.
However what one can do when one is not strong enough to control this great power of heaven?What should or rather what can one do,when this blessing turns into a curse?
Females are considered weak,isn’t It? They are not weak in physique but in emotions.A feeble blow of emotions is often strong enough to uproot the long established strength of a determined woman.
Lark, the emotional girl,was no less than an orphan.As a child of four,she faced one of those sad realities of life that was enough to give someone ,some long lasting wounds.She was born a girl and her mother gave birth to a girl.Those were the biggest mistakes that a woman can ever be guilty of,as per Lark’s father,Mr.James Parker.
So,the guy,James, considered himself to be the judge of the case.He punished the culprit ,Mrs.Meriam Parker,so brutally that she was forced to change her identity to Divorced Meriam Rowl,a PERMANENT patient to the PLW(psycho live well) mental hospital,near Brockenhurst.This hospital was not suited to the term ‘hospital’ but was at least that cheap that old Nancy could afford.This new term,old Nancy was one of the two only wellwishers of sad Meriam (the other being her daughter).
As a young girl,Lark had been a witness to the sights when James would show his manhood in form of domestic violence on her former wife,Meriam.He used to beat her very hard ,with sticks and his leather belts.Meriam would shout for help,pray to her so called husband to pardon her but his rate of beatings had never decreased and so had his hatred for his daughter.Lark Being just four,had her hands tied with webs of innocence.
There is nothing that a four year child can do to protect his mother from the clutches of a devil.
Such acts of rebellion and emotional distress had not taken much time to hamper the mental state of the innocent Meriam.A year was enough in itself for the same.The most distress part was when the real judge declared Meriam as mentally unstable and gave his assent to the decision of divorce between James and Meriam.The custody of the innocent victim,Lark was given to old Nancy.
This was how one more case of violence was added to the anonymous register of blind justice.Nothing changed.Really nothing changed and what change the loss of just two lives can bring to this world of billion lives?
Why to go against the stream when one can favourably go with the stream?
Firstly,one more victim of the hardships of the world-the mother of a girl became the PERMANENT resident of a mental hospital,in such a trauma that she couldn’t even recognise her only daughter.Secondly,a girl lost her world(her parents).So was lark’s transformation from a daughter to an orphan.
But one thing was universal.The culprit of the matter ,in actual point of view,James ,being a rough and tough man,continued to survive.This guy without delay adopted the theme of living in his life,got married and moved ahead.Lark considered herself a culprit too.Had in those days of god’s curse, she had been able to protect her mother from manpower,she would have been gifted with a better life this day.These thoughts distracted her so much that often in dreams she saw herself as the same child who had been gripped
by the devils of innocence.
She could better be described as ‘alone’. ‘A-lone ’ not from outside but from inside and this loneliness turned her into a sequestered one.One can definitely form an image of such a person .Lark was never able to make friends.People started avoiding her.Wherever she went,be it to school or college,one thing never changed.She lived alone and thus remained forlorn.
She was better described as- A girl with no love;a child with no parents to disobey;a storyteller with no life story to say;a sun with no gay;a student with no curiosity to learn;a victim with no revenge to burn or a lifeless female with no soul to earn…….
She was a friend to herself.
That day Lark was very disturbed . That four o’clock sunday morning dream was more moving than any other that Lark had seen so far.She came out of her bed and stood before the wall mirror.She could see her mother’s image in her.She remembered how her aunt Nancy used to say ,”Dear girl ,you know you resemble your mother in many ways.Your behaviour is like her.She was like you when she was young. Always silent ……and I think it was this silence of hers that finally costed her ,her life.”
She nodded her head in despair.She went to the table at the corner .There were two photo frames kept there.One being of Meriam Rowl sitting on a park chair with a two year old Lark.The other being of James who was smoking a cigarette.This frame however was unusual in appearance.It had a cross done on it with a black marker. She took the photo of James,waved her hand on it and said,”James ,had you been gifted with a little bit sense that time ,you would have earned the privilege of being called Dad by a daughter,but believe
me,you are not worthy of this ,you only deserve my revenge…nothing else…..”.She was speechless.She expressed a sob.
And really in the dictionary of a daughter there cannot exist a single word which is suitable enough to describe a man of such a kind.
It was a Sunday.A day when half the world remains asleep and the other half remembers the day as the family day.So ,with no family to spend time with,the forlorn girl decided to visit her mother at Brockenhurst.Her college was on the outskirts of Brockenhurst.It was hardly an hours journey to the heart of the city where resides her mother , sad Meriam.
She was ready within twenty minutes ,took the city bus at six ,Sat on a window seat and began her journey all the way to her mother.She was alone ,with no company,none ,just she and her silence.She may not be smart enough to make friends but was bold.
Any cheerful and ambitious person like us would consider her stupid if he would come to know that ‘Lark’s only motive was to meet James ‘ .Yes,her aim was just to meet James,anyhow and in any way. Her eyes ,which were said to resemble Meriam ,were eager to see that culprit and ask him a simple question.That question which pierced Lark each and every single day of fifteen years of stay in this world.
Believe me,no one can imagine the pain,the deep incurable pain,that a person feels when he finds none to share his emotions with.All ideas,all moments of joy and every single curiosity die under the debris of loneliness.Fifteen years of waiting,fifteen years……and each day to begin with the same question ,every night to sleep with the same question,every joy to break with the same question ,every pain to doubled up with the same question ,every insult to bear with the same question…….one’s life become a question,such a question that can be answered by none.
On the way,Lark spent time thinking how she lost her childhood.She had no good memories to think upon,no moments of fun to laugh at and probably none to share thoughts with.She exclaimed as if to herself,”The actual judge and the so called justice system of the world is not worthy of determining this case.I need to handle it my own way.” Lusty green fields passed on the way,the farmers working in the fields,the birds chirping their morning prayer and the good- looking common sun making a struggle to rise above the mountain peaks…..such aroma of nature that was supposed to cheer up a person and fill him with awe ,failed to have even a little impact upon this lady.
So unusual was her one hour’s travelling in the bus.Really, nothing In the world can make a difference to a deep wounded person.
At the bus stop,Lark came down and made her way down the lane to the hospital.Every step appeared to make a new move to the world of reality.Flower shops passed on the way.Again a disturbing thought came to her mind.”Mom loved orchids!”,exclaimed she.But then it was meaningless.A mother who was not even in a state to recognise her daughter,could not definitely remember her favourite flowers.
We ,man, are real puppets in the hands of fate.We fall in love,fight for our things,get jealous on other’s achievements,struggle hard to win a game,take pride in defeating competitors and wish to lead a happy and prosperous life.And one day ,Fate showers upon us the dark curse and the same ‘we’ lose his identity for forever. Mental illness is not a disease,it’s just the case of having a distorted mind.A mind that has experienced the worst of mankind.However this ignorant world is not kind enough to invite a distorted mind to become its part.This world ,in fact ,would take more pride in admitting such a person in a mental hospital.
With thoughts as these struggling now and then in her mind,Lark continued to walk.Every thought invited an ugly feeling for this unkind world.There she stopped.Right across the busy road was her mother’s residence that showed PLW Hospital. Lark was waiting for the signal to show a red to the rushing vehicles.
Suddenly her eyes took notice of a known person.A person whom Lark could see only in her dreams.The Person whose photograph this lady had cruelly crossed.The person to whom Lark wanted to ask a question before her life ends.On the other side,on the footpath was Mr.James Parker ,Her mother’s culprit.
Lark could not control herself.After Fifteen years of waiting and dying each day,she did find her former FATHER. After all,he was the one who ‘gifted’ her this hellish life. Without wasting a moment,she shouted at the top of her voice,”JAMES…JAMES..WAIT ….JAMES WAIT..THIS TIME NO…..I WOULDN’T LET YOU GO…..JAMES .”Old James took notice of
the lady and stood confused.
Even without bothering of the traffic signal,Lark rushed on.A car came rushing forward and the forlorn Lark was hit .She was thrown a short distance away.The very next moment she was lying on Brockenhurst road,bleeding.Had she been alive and witnessing the scene,she would have been surprised to see James rushing to help her.A person who was guilty of emotionally murdering his wife was rushing today to help a lady and that too his daughter(though he did not know that she was his daughter) A cab was stopped.James and a few others loaded the double victim ,Lark, in it and in
about two minutes were inside the state hospital with Lark in emergency cabin.James was still confused .He thought to himself.Why the lady asked him to stop?Or rather how did she get his name from?She was simply an anonymous for him and so was he for her.Suddenly the doctor approached the life savers and informed them about the victim’s situation being critical.Her identity card was taken out of her purse and shown to them in case they knew her.James could not believe his senses when he read that she was the daughter of Meriam Rowl.
Yes the daughter of Meriam Rowl. The words kept ringing in his ears as if echoing.
How often mankind commit a blunder!
Such a blunder that has the untold power to destroy someone’s life. And at the end when realisation dawns upon the same man, it is always too late.
It is not too late to mend.
However such proverbs appear fascinating only while giving advices. How practical are these complex words in this double complex world is still to be discovered.
After taking divorce with Meriam,he went to Statford and got married.However none of his marriages worked.He was a flower shopowner and probably that was what which marked Meriam love for flowers and Lark’s hatred for the same.A person who cannot love others ,surely is not expected to be loved.So is the case here.A month ago ,he came to Brockenhurst to find new work and was alone.
How tricky blind fate Is! To do such things that can never be expected from.To have fate in this blind fate Is really a difficult task.
So such was the trick that this unfaithful fate played with the aforesaid Individuals.
James considered himself to be cheated by fate.At times when his blood was warm ,he applied it for a wrong purpose and now when his body had lost its strength,he was feeling the need of a ‘stick’ to take support from. Experience teaches us the truth of life.With the warm blood of mankind running in veins , man start considering himself as the Lord.Slowly the tricky fate and the anonymous time pull down his castle of admire.
James never tried to search for his first wife and never bothered for his only daughter.But somewhere a guilt existed ,though deep in his stony heart.
Today the long back WOUND was back to action. A time to repent ,a time to request for pardon and a time to cure some incurable wounds.James became emotional.Yes he was actually.Possibly a result of experience.He was dumbfounded as if he had seen a nightmare.Of course this was not even less than a nightmare.A sudden bolt of words helped him bring out of shock.
“Do any of you know the lady there,her family has to be informed,she’s on her death bed”, the doctor said.”Yes I ,I …….I know her ,I James know her ,she is my daughter, ya she is by daughter……..my daughter …..Lark..Lark.. .”
James rushed into the cabin.He saw his daughter on living the last of her life.She was breathing as if was waiting for this moment to come.He held Lark’s palm tightly and asked her to pardon him.Lark opened her eyes and murmured something.She asked,”Why only I and my mother ?”.That day her wait was over.She asked her culprit the question that had for long remained unanswered.James had no words to express his fault.Tears filled in his eyes.He just said ,”sorry”,but it was already too late.Lark was breathing very fast.The doctor was called and in a couple of seconds,She died .Lark was set free for forever.
Her only motive in her life was fulfilled.James caused the death of a mother and that day an innocent daughter died in his hands.She was only guilty of being born a GIRL..an innocent GIRL…
By: RADHIKA PATWARI