Truly, Madly, Deeply
Love isn’t what it seems like in the movies. It’s painful, it’s dirty, it’s exhausting and it’s not for the faint-hearted. They say that love finds you, and not the other way round. Do you think that’s true? Is it so difficult to meet your future partner? Is it tougher to stay in love? So tough that most people don’t even try? To call myself an expert on this subject would be an overstatement, but here’s what I think about the matter of love.
There will be times when your partner demands your time and energy. You have to choose between your professional commitments, your hobbies, or probably put all of them on the backburner if you wish to be a committed partner. It takes a lot more than a few lovey-dovey quotes or emojis to prove that you’re THE one. Sure, she may like a Bollywood flick which puts you to sleep, and she may vomit at the thought of watching a test match. But you have to choose what is more important.
Yes, it does happen. All relationships are directly proportional to the amount of time invested. Your friends may have planned a movie night, but your partner may be ill and might need you. What do you do? Do you lie to them? No. Tell them the truth, and if they’re your true friends, they won’t mind. In fact, they may drop in and surprise you two. How about that?
As a person, I have been 100% transparent with my parents, which is why I can literally do what I want when I want. In reality, this is a rare case, since most of us are too scared to open up to our parents. And parents, too are at fault here, since they try their best to realize their own dreams via their offspring. Give your kids a break, guys, and you will see that they will exceed your expectations. Tell your parents about that wonderful man or woman you met on Tinder. Chances are that they may share a naughty tip or two!
Ah! Here comes the itchy part. Today, most couples live full, successful professional lives. As a result, money isn’t a problem. Priorities are. The man may want to spend a bomb on a new set of tyres for his vehicle, but his lady may want to use that money to travel together. In this case, the two need to sit down and set their priorities right. Going Dutch always helps, and it is a great way of strengthening a beautiful bond.
If she asks you for space, back off. Period. It’s not a warning sign, but merely a reminder that your partner is a human being, too, and has all the right to pursue anything at any time. Now, many cowardly partners use this excuse as a prelude to a breakup, but you need to use your instincts. If there’s no word after a sufficient period of time, follow up. Then give up. Remember, your self-respect comes first. Nothing and no one should have the power to hold you ransom, no matter what.
6. Being Yourself
Now, this topic has had couples tearing their hair out in frustration. Do you tell your partner whatever you feel like, just because you know that you guys will not mind? Do you let off steam just because you can? I think of it like this; You’re neither the first nor the last one he or she has had a problem with, during the day. Whether it’s an errant driver, an abusive colleague or a short-tempered boss, we take a lot of mental pounding every day. Do you add fuel to the fire? I always think of something my dad always says in this matter, which is this – Always remember that even firefighters use water.
Very important. She is a functional, proud, contributing human being, and she deserves to be treated like one. It’s the same for you. Don’t hand-hold your partner. At the same time, don’t leave him to fend for himself. Treat your man the way you’d like yourself to be treated, ladies. Celebrate the victories, cauterize the doubts and soothe the weaknesses. You have to if you want to stay together.
8. The Past
This has to remain in the past. If you have learned something from it, excellent! Otherwise, leave it be. Do not keep hammering your dark past into your partner’s head. It’s possibly the worst thing that you can do. Hold on to the happy memories. In time, you’ll laugh about it. If you already do, then you’re winning.
9. The Future
This has to remain in the future. No plan survives the first contact. If it’s true for the military, it is the same for you two. Worrying about what hasn’t happened hasn’t helped anyone. If you’re still hell-bent on it, plan for happy things. Plan a trip. Invest in something. Workout. Constructive planning is the key.
10. The Present
This is your greatest ally. Be all you can, together, today. Solve all your problems, today. If you feel that she’s been unfair to you, tell her today. If you feel that he’s got a drinking problem, make it clear. Today. Tell her you care for her. Today. Allow him a few mistakes, today. Do not drag things into the future. Do not dredge up past skeletons. Never go to bed with an argument in your head. Every day is a new page. Write the best story you can.
A relationship is like a good drink. You need to be the best of friends first, and all else after that. Take time, make mistakes. Never give up on yourself.
Stay in love, peeps 🙂
By: Adreesh Ghoshal