At anytime, you may face a problem with someone. This small problem may end up to be a big conflict if you get angry, or it may disappear if you know how to control yourself.
Here are 10 steps to help you know how to act when you are angry of someone:
- Show it and don’t hide your anger.If you think that you need to hide and cover “negative feelings” with some positive fake ones, then you are so wrong. Be faith to yourself and others.
2. Make a conscious choice to sit with the feeling.
Oftentimes when you are angry, you feel as you need to do an action regarding this. However, don’t do anything, just wait till the feeling has less of a grip on you.
3. Feel the anger in your body.
Where the anger is strucking you? At your neck tense, at your chest burning, at your throat tightening? Recognize the place of the anger in your body and try your best to breathe and massage those areas to clear the blockage.
4. See this as an exercise in self-soothing.
Try to talk with yourself down from bitter rage and take it to a place of inner calm. Realize that you are the only ones responsible for your mental states, so try to learn how to practice regulating yourself.
5. Commit to acting without seeking retribution.
Something made you angry, it is ok. However, convince yourself that you’re not looking to regain a sense of power or get even, you must only address the situation and understand your thoughts and feelings about it clearly.
- 6.Check in with your mood before the incident.
Try to know if there is a relation between your mood before and after the incident. Were you having a bad day, annoyed or irritated?
7.Ask yourself why is this bothering you so much.
Is what bothering you what someone else did, or the way you are interpreting their actions to mean?
8. Take a projection inventory.
Are you’re angry because someone did something that you’ve done many times before? your feelings may be caused because you are seeing a behavior of your own which you’re not proud of.
- Write about it.
Take a paper and pen then go through it step by step. Ask yourself some questions to make it clear: what did the other person do? Is it the first time he does something like this? Did he do intentionally or by accident? Do you have any other feelings like being insecure, frustrated, or confused? Put everything on the paper.
- Put it in a letter.
It is a great way to express yourself through a letter or a message. Since you know now everything, you can clearly write a letter to the other person explaining why you are angry of him. You can send it or just burn it.
The last thing to do is to forgive. The whole problem will be solved when you just forgive and forget about it.